I've never been the "risk taker" kind of girl. I mean if you count the peeking at my Christmas presents as a child risk taking, then you could easily say I'm quite the rebel...
I have been known my entire life to stick inside my comfort zone, only venturing out of my "bubble" on few occasions. I have never preferred to be a "free spirit" as some say. I am proudly obsessed with being organized, I like things in my life to be consistent, I hate change, & I prefer everything to be planned out. I have always been the practical girl. You could say my life is a little predictable. & I have even been called perfect on several occasions before. Which I call bullshit on that, because we're all human, we all make mistakes, we all have our faults & weaknesses, no one, & I mean no one is perfect.
This type of lifestyle that I have laid out for myself has never really bothered me until a couple of months ago when I found myself on the night of my high school graduation trying to hurriedly fix my eyeliner {which was perfectly winged out if you might ask, & if you wear eyeliner you completely know this struggle} that was now smudged everywhere as the tears came streaming down my face. Faced with a sense of doubt that I had never felt before.
In late fall I had decided my future plans for after graduation would be to attend a Cosmetology School about 40 minutes away from my home. I had worked at a hair salon for about a year with a group of wonderful girls, enjoyed doing hair, & was comfortable being in that environment, so I figured why not this? It seemed to be the most logical situation laid out in front of me.
In late fall I had decided my future plans for after graduation would be to attend a Cosmetology School about 40 minutes away from my home. I had worked at a hair salon for about a year with a group of wonderful girls, enjoyed doing hair, & was comfortable being in that environment, so I figured why not this? It seemed to be the most logical situation laid out in front of me.
So I applied, got accepted, & celebrated.
It was a done deal.
As the months continued on, the activities of my senior year died down, & graduation day approached, what started as a little pit in my stomach began to grow bigger, & bigger, & bigger.
A lady who has made a significant impact on my life over the past few years & is very important to me once told me to,
"Make bold choices in your life & do what ever brings you joy."
So here I am, 3 months post graduation night, after making the boldest choice I have ever made in my entire life.
With the compliance from my very understanding & supportive parents, I withdrew my acceptance to Cosmetology School.
Being a person who prefers everything to be planned out in their life, this was a decision that did not come easily to me. I struggled internally in the months before graduation unsure if I had chosen the right path for myself.
For those of you that may not know me very well, art has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. The amount of joy it brings me in my everyday life is an indescribable feeling.
During my senior year of high school as fellow students were enjoying their freedom away from school with their senior privs, I filled my schedule with every art class it could possibly fit. While challenging at some times, I continued to greatly enjoy & appreciate my hours dedicated to my work in those classrooms, making my days well worth it.
I have recently made the decision that I will be taking a year off from school & have decided to pursue a more artistic education & career in my future.
During my year off I have also come to the conclusion that I am going to take a little journey to find myself & discover what I really want to get out of my life. To become that little "free bird" that has been hiding inside me the past couple years. I'm not saying I am going to change the person I am, because I wouldn't be Claudia if I wasn't the organized, practical girl I've always been. I'm just saying that I want to be less predictable & more adventurous, I want to be less doubtful & more confident in my abilities in my life, I want to try new things & even if I fall short, I want to be okay with it, I want to learn that change is okay, because sometimes that small step in the right direction, could be the biggest step in your life.
I want to make bold choices, & I want to do things that bring me joy in my life.
Because in the grand scheme of things...
Image source: Pinterest
A lady who has made a significant impact on my life over the past few years & is very important to me once told me to,
"Make bold choices in your life & do what ever brings you joy."
So here I am, 3 months post graduation night, after making the boldest choice I have ever made in my entire life.
With the compliance from my very understanding & supportive parents, I withdrew my acceptance to Cosmetology School.
Being a person who prefers everything to be planned out in their life, this was a decision that did not come easily to me. I struggled internally in the months before graduation unsure if I had chosen the right path for myself.
For those of you that may not know me very well, art has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. The amount of joy it brings me in my everyday life is an indescribable feeling.
During my senior year of high school as fellow students were enjoying their freedom away from school with their senior privs, I filled my schedule with every art class it could possibly fit. While challenging at some times, I continued to greatly enjoy & appreciate my hours dedicated to my work in those classrooms, making my days well worth it.
I have recently made the decision that I will be taking a year off from school & have decided to pursue a more artistic education & career in my future.
During my year off I have also come to the conclusion that I am going to take a little journey to find myself & discover what I really want to get out of my life. To become that little "free bird" that has been hiding inside me the past couple years. I'm not saying I am going to change the person I am, because I wouldn't be Claudia if I wasn't the organized, practical girl I've always been. I'm just saying that I want to be less predictable & more adventurous, I want to be less doubtful & more confident in my abilities in my life, I want to try new things & even if I fall short, I want to be okay with it, I want to learn that change is okay, because sometimes that small step in the right direction, could be the biggest step in your life.
I want to make bold choices, & I want to do things that bring me joy in my life.
Because in the grand scheme of things...
Nice job with the blog Claudia! I am so happy for you that you are going to follow your dreams. You have the rest of your life to make the big decisions. Take it from an old woman, you will never be this young again. Enjoy the ride. Denise
ReplyDeleteClaudia, really like your blog. I will continue to follow. So proud of you for stepping out of that safety box and listening to that voice. It's always a little scary, but take chances, opportunities and you will find your way on what you want to do. I love, love, love that you are following your creative side with your Art. You have a gift, continue to develop it and remember everything you create you've made for someone. Take good care, <3 Ms. Laura
ReplyDeleteHooray for writing! :) I'm glad to hear that you're cultivating that little voice inside of you that tells you when something is right for you, and (just as importantly) when something is not a good fit. I look forward to seeing where your journey takes you! Also: I love Mary Oliver - she's one of my favorite poets!
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Ms. Young